Saying Grace 2.0

An open-source Thanksgiving blessing

This Thanksgiving, millions of us will sit down for dinner. And before we begin to eat, someone will say a blessing—or not. In either event, the moment may not feel quite right.

For many of us, we’ve moved beyond traditional ways of saying grace—but saying nothing doesn’t feel right either.

The fact is—whether we’re religious, spiritual or atheist—we all value meaning. At special gatherings, with family, friends and community—I’ve always wanted something to be said to mark the occasion and acknowledge what we all mean to each other. Words have such a power. They bring clarity, intention and consciousness — they highlight the deeper meaning in our gatherings.

We’ve all attended a Thanksgiving dinner when someone gave an impromptu blessing from the heart that spoke to our hearts—and moved us. It gave meaning to the moment. It called to our minds what we value most in life.

It made us more present.

But speaking from the heart isn’t always easy—and it’s all too simple to avoid it altogether. We feel put on the spot—what will I say? How will it be received? On the other hand, it’s unsatisfying when the feeling of a special gathering isn’t matched by our words. It’s minor, we eat, we forget about it. But still — I feel a moment is missed.

So I decided to write a blessing that was brief and easy to remember—for myself and others to use. My friends and community have been “meal-testing” it and we really like how it feels.

This is the blessing:

Thanks for all we are given.

May this meal give us strength

and vitality in life

and open our hearts

for what we are to accomplish.

I wanted something concise, yet open-ended and inclusive. Something we can say at holidays and family dinners, or on-the-go, to ourselves, at a burger joint or even in a car (or airplane).

This is a template—a template which works for us. And it’s open-source—so feel free to try it, change it, revise or update as works for you. And if you do—please share your experiences. Or share whatever else you are saying or doing out of your own inspiration.

When we gather meaningfully—for Thanksgiving or other holidays or simply with a close friend—we recognize and pay tribute to our human connections. The moment before a meal lends itself perfectly for such an expression.

Happy Thanksgiving.

The Backstory

For years, I wanted more out of meal blessings. Friends and I experimented with a number of them: a simple “blessings on the meal” (felt good—but I wanted more substance), the traditional Japanese “itadakimasu” (heartfelt and spirited—but still, I wanted more), envisioning the food chain and its participants (made me thankful for having a meal at all—but lacked mention of my closer community).

Bon appétit, buon appetito—while socially elegant, seemed too focused solely on the act of eating.

The Lord’s Prayer packs a punch if you’re religious, but feels inappropriate in other circumstances. Our communities today are diverse, global and multi-everything. A blessing should reflect this.

I wanted a blessing with meaning for all human beings. That meant a simple common language—a human language that speaks to the heart, regardless of our differences.

Here’s the thought behind the lines:

Thanks for all we are given.

It feels important to “give thanks” somewhere in the blessing. Each of us is given so much in life—our parents, upbringing, many of our opportunities, our history and culture, the natural world, our very lives. It’s an easy mistake to feel that all we have in life is due to our own achievement—in truth, a huge portion is what we’ve been given. To not acknowledge this feels short-sighted—and frankly, ungrateful.

May this meal give us strength

and vitality in life

We eat not only because we’re hungry — we eat to be nourished. Life can and should be strengthening and vitalizing—not constantly stressful and tiring. The goal of food is to replenish our health. These lines are also reminders to cast a discerning eye on what we’re eating—poorly prepared or processed food should be seen for what it is.

and open our hearts

This is the social, emotional and community aspect. People are important in our lives. Our relationships matter. Our bearing and attitude toward others matters—to them and to us. What is our relationship to our loved ones, communities and networks? Are they as we would wish? Or do they call for change?

for what we are to accomplish.

We’re here for a reason. Whether in our work, our relationships or in our lives in general—there is something that only we can give, can do, can accomplish in the world. Every one of us has a gift to give. Individually and together.

Individual Version

Thanksgiving aside, there are times we eat alone. Still, there’s an opportunity for meaning. With a few changes, we can say:

Thanks for all I am given.

May this meal give me strength

and vitality in life

and open my heart

for what I am to accomplish.

I like the individual version—it feels powerful. I’m looking forward to saying it more often.